[2026.16.01]: I don’t know from where to start off – yes, I really had the intention to leave for good. There is a lot happening in the world right now, and I think about it a frequently. It’s not that the global political scene has any direct bearing on my physical life, not really, it’s just that I’m very disappointed in what we identify as humanity yet again. I really want to love & understand all people, I really do, but the baboonery of our behavior is just a cruel joke.

Every so often when I wake up, I have the huge desire to taste my own non-existence. I don’t really care if I die tomorrow. In fact, I’ll accept it with open arms, but forcing that end is way too optimistic. I shall await for my gift with patience until He decides the time is right. Till then, I’ll stay hungry of what I desire.

All that takes a huge toll on my already fragile mental health. I really thought if I leave the digital world as a whole I’ll find the path to salvation. Alas, only death is the road to awe.

And I’m again in the labyrinth, lost to wander…